Haircut now?

Spring is nicely advanced and Summer is almost here and soon it will be June the significance of which is that is when I go for my annual haircut.

Last week it was pretty warm and I was thinking perhaps I should get one in earlier especially as seeds and stuff was starting to get into my fluff, then this week it's cooled down again and I'm pleased I didn't get cut but the rain plays havoc with my locks.

Oh what a dilemma, cut now or wait till June, chance a cool period or expect a sunshine?

Oh well, what do I know I'm only a dog.

My Cousin is in the White House

There I was lying on my chair minding my own business when suddenly there was my cousin Egor the Portuguese Water Dog on the TV pretending to be called Bo. He's aged a bit and changed his hair style since I last saw him but it is definitely Egor, you can tell by his cute smile.

Well I jumped up and thought how did he get there, then I saw he was with that nice Mr. Obama's family and realised that he was on a special undercover mission that was why he changed his name, he could have chosen something better that Bo but I suppose it does sound more American than Egor.

Anyway obviously he is now the most powerful dog in the world so I hope he uses his new found powers wisely, perhaps he could create a International Water Dog Day when we could exchange lots of cards and treats and stuff. Perhaps I'll ask him to send over a few Marines to sort out the local Winkers and Jobs Worth's we have around here, that if he hasn't grown too big for his fluff, I could always ask. Well what would I know, I'm only a dog

Are some humans selfish or what? - Winge time!

The sun is out, green bits are coming on the plants and it is getting warmer and out come the selfish ones.

I've mentioned rubbish before but I must have another go! Humans sit on the grass in parks eating their food and when they finish they just get up and walk away leaving the food wrappers where they were even though they have to pass a bin to exit the park, I know where they are because they are positioned in a handy position for watering.

Also........
I go out whether it is raining, snowing, windy, cold and sometimes all of these things but when it is sunny a special breed of humans come out who think they have special privileges to the world this is compounded by younger ones that scream as my friends and I pass by minding our own business.
Big humans rush over muttering about uncontrolled dogs when it is their precious offspring that should be taught to behave and heaven help me if we should bark, any one would think we're poised to attack.
Can't the humans be taught to clean up and to respect other people and dogs, oh well what do I know, I'm only a dog.
P.S. No elephants found yet.

So where are the elephants?

The other day I heard master say that there are Elephants in Leamington, I'm not sure what an elephant is but I'm told by a wise old dog in Jephson Gardens that the 3 statues by the restaurant are elephants.

I've checked them over and they're not very big but not so small that they could hide easily so I've been on look out ever since, I haven't come across any but maybe had a sniff of one, not that I know what they should smell like.

I've been everywhere looking, even across the river, I've checked behind walls, round corners, everywhere but so far nothing!

I'm not saying master is mistaken but but you never know. I'll keep looking and will keep you up to date if there are any developments.

Maybe Elephants are only a myth, what would I know, I'm only a dog.

Leamington's holding up

This may sound sad but 2 years ago master and I counted all the shops which were empty or for rent in Leamington and we found that there were 33. Well with all the bad news and the so called experts spouting off on the TV about the empty High Streets we decided to do another count this weekend and guess what? there were 33 shops empty or with for rent signs! Spooky.

We noticed that there a bunch of shops that were empty 2 years ago are still empty now, also that our count this weekend included 4 new shops that weren't built a couple of years ago.

Back then Park Street had 4 shops available, today there is only 1 but that's just a relocation. Don't get me wrong, we're not complacent or gloating, we need to get people to keep coming to Leamington to shop so it stays the same or gets better, there are some great shops available and if the Landlords or the Estate Agents aren't too greedy these could be filled pretty soon.

Please people keep shopping in Leamington and tell all your friends to come and see us, especially me! Anyway what do I know I'm only a dog.

Recycling, is it worth it? - a winge

My master has only fairly recently got into this recycling thing.

Having had a brief discussion with a council person (maybe one from my dream meeting) he decided that as we live quite high, for health and safety sake, he would used a nice bag they provide instead of the red plastic box, well could you imagine him tripping up and falling down stairs as he couldn't see the steps ahead of him.

In the box you can put bottles, paper and card so he assumed it would be the same for the bag and so for a few weeks it all went quite well then one day we came down for our morning walk and our bag hadn't been collected though we could see the lorry just down the road.

Feeling brave (probably because I was there to protect him) my master went to ask them why they hadn't done our bag, apparently it was because we had a mixed bag and bags can't be mixed only boxes can, it's something to do with the sides of the bags being floppy and so they can't see what they are picking out of the bag and they might break a finger nail or something.

It was so obvious that you couldn't mix in bags they had an official leaflet that said so and obviously my master is a total idiot for not realising this, anyway they suggested they were more important than my master so he should learn his lesson.

Now every collection day my master separates the recycle bag into the different materials and carries them down the stairs to be ready for the guys with the nice finger-nails to collect them.

Imagine our consternation this week when we went down and one of our bags was missing, quite often the nice finger-nail men leave the bag in random piles further down the street, but this morning was different, some winker had come along in the night and thrown selected recycling bags and boxes into the basement flats courtyards down our road causing quite a mess including smashing bottles. Luckily it was our cardboard bag they threw so that was in one piece.

Did the nice finger-nailed people pop down a few steps into the courtyard and pick up what they could, no chance, maybe it would break their stilettos or something I don't know, so our card bag wasn't collected and as they don't come for two weeks it could have caused a problem if my master hadn't had a cunning plan.

Is all the aggro worth it, what would I know, I'm only a dog!

My new distant cousins

Hi Diane,
It was great hearing from you and thank you for linking the pictures of my new distant cousins to my blog, how cute are they but not ready to play yet, do you think they will like tennis balls?
Lana must be a proud Mum.
Hope you like my site? It's fun doing it but I keep on hitting the paws button as the fluff gets in the way!

Leamington, centre of the world - official

One thing I really enjoy is sniffing and checking out the various objects I find on my walks, well the other day I came across a large rock with some writing on it, here's a picture;

Basically what it says is the centre of England is a nearby Oak Tree, I went and checked and yes there is an Oak Tree but it seemed very small so I helped it by lifting my leg, you never know any liquid might help it grow.

Anyway I heard somewhere that the centre of the world is based round GMT, whatever that is, which apparently runs through England therefore this tree being the centre of England is in turn the Centre of the world, therefore in doggy logic I've watered at the centre of the world.

How cool is that! Anyway what do I know, I'm only a dog.

Parking - true story

We've just got a new neighbour, and a nice person he is. We met him the other day and he was telling us about his adventures with the council.

He needed a parking permit to park where we live so he went down to the local council taking with him proof of identity and ownership of the car.

At the reception he was given the forms and was told he needed to post the application with copies of his documents and a cheque or postal order for the required amount.

And where was he to post it to? yes the building he was standing in, so he asked if he could not just fill out the form there and then and leave it, apparently no it was against the rules but on this occassion it would be OK.

Several obstacles still stood in the way, i.e. copying of the documents and the payment.

There was a copier less than 2 metres from the reception but he couldn't use it as it was against the rules!

As the neighbour was a young guy he'd long ago stopped using cheques so couldn't lay his hands on his cheque book so asked if he could pay with his debit card, the receptionist didn't know but gave him a phone number to call to find out, the number was for the building he was in! After some polite requests he was eventually allowed to use an internal phone to the department.

If he was applying for a carpark permit they would be delighted to accept his debit card but as he was applying for a residents permit he would have to use a cheque or postal order.

At this point the neighbour gave up and went across town to the post office bought a postal order and stamp and posted it to them.

Lucky they were so helpful as it could have been a difficult task, but what would I know I'm only a dog.

Winkers

Loud bangs scare me a bit, this is because of an experience when I was a pupster, but that's between me and my doctor!

Because of banging I noticed that there are some little cars that go around town constantly making lots of boom bang boom noises so I thought I would pay some attention to them and I noticed several things.

The drivers must all be very poor because their windows are always open even in the coldest days and their radios are turned up loud creating the banging noises, surely they would pay for their windows and radios to be fixed, but maybe not because the way the cars shake with the noises I'd imagine it breaks the windows quickly.

There are quite a lot of these silly little cars around and they tend to meet up around the top of town, it must be social thing, there are usually lots of people in each car and they must all be disabled and unable to get out because they eat in the car and throw the rubbish out of the window even though they are close to a bin, must be sad for them being unable to walk properly.

They obviously get some thearapy for this problem because they put their cars very close together and smoke this strange smelling stuff which they share between cars, what ever it is, it doesn't help their sense of direction because they drive round and around the block very fast closely following each other, perhaps the one in front is trying to escape from the others, or maybe they are playing simple simon and trying to show how much they can make their wheel screech and the others have to follow, maybe that's to drown out the banging noises from inside the car.

I don't know, my master calls them winkers but I don't see why, perhaps I'm missing something, what do I know I'm only a dog

Sniffing 2 - Clothing

During my routine sniffing apart from the previously mentioned rubbish I find lots of other things. Most notably articles of human clothing, this time of the year a single glove is the most regular find.
I also found tee shirts, shirts, socks, sweatshirts, school hats but strangely ladies knickers, now I'm obviously not an expert on these items but some of them are skinny lace things and others bigger sensible knickers.
One thing I like doing when I find an article of clothing is to pick them up and carry them for a while, which is OK for most things but I always raise a smile when it is the knickers.
I've worked out how most of the items get left on the street but I'm not sure how the knickers get there, anyway what would I know I'm only a dog

Sniffing 1 - Litter

I Love Leamington Spa, it's a pretty town with nice buildings and very friendly people but there is a slightly dark side.

As you can well imagine I spend most of my time with my nose to the ground having a good sniff around to see which other dogs have been about leaving their marks so I notice a lot of stuff and it always amazes me what I find and all I can say is that some humans are quite disgusting.

Despite there being lots of bins, I know I mark them, people drop all sorts of litter especially food wrappers, bottles and cans. My master goes spare because I like to pick it up, especially the meaty stuff, and eating it gives me a bad tummy. Chicken bones are best because they send my master crazy trying to get them out of my mouth.

There is a pattern of food from the doors of the takeaways, first findings are chillis and pickles, don't like these much, then there is salad stuff like Tomatoes and Lettuce, OK but pretty tasteless, then the meat and bones, much better! Almost immediately after are the wrappings, worth a niff and a lick.

What is good are the people who park their cars up near the top of town and throw the rubbish out of their window, all the bits are together so as long as I don't grab chilli it's easy pickings.
Or in summer the people who have lunch sitting in the top park, they just get up and leave their rubbish even though they have to walk past a bin to get out of the park.

It surprises me that humans have so little respect for themselves and their environment, but what do I know I'm only a dog.

Funny dream

I may only be a dog but I sometimes have dreams some of them a bit weird and the other I had one that was particularly wacky, it all start because my master was muttering on about the rubbish collection around here, we have to use council issued bags.

The scene; a fictional planning meeting at a fictional Council somewhere in the UK

Goffer; That's the houses sorted but how are we going to handle the rubbish collection for the flats around here?

CJ: They can use bags, in fact I've had an idea, they can use special bags that we would provide which we can have our name printed nicely on the side.

Goffer; Won't that be expensive?

CJ; Thats the beauty of this idea, it means we will demand a higher budget for our department making us more important.

Goffer; What happens if someone doesn't use our bags?

CJ; We don't collect any other bags only our own.

Goffer; People will complain!

CJ; Give Customer services something to do instead of just sitting around all day!

Goffer; What about the Rats?

CJ; What about them? Already said we'll ignore them, oh you mean rodents! That's another departments problem

Goffer; It'll make the streets dirty and the place untidy

CJ; Don't care, don't live here.

Goffer; What will we tell people why we're insisting on our bags?

CJ; Easy, it's so we can keep count, we'll make it two bags per week per flat, follow the logic?

Goffer; Err sort of.

CJ; We can even have rubbish monitors who patrol the street and they can have special bits of paper to put through letter boxes threatening all sorts of things if people don't comply, we could get uniforms for our rubbish monitors, it's the awakening of a new and enlarged department with more budget.....

Uh, what's that? time to wake for a walk, strange dream, I'm sure it's not like that in real life, what would I know I'm just a dog.

Christmas Lights

I thought as this my first post it would be gentle and about nice things;
I'm lucky enough to get lots of walks and the other night we decided to go through the centre of town and I've got to say I was impressed by the Christmas Lights of Leamington Spa.
They are all brand new and very sparkly, not like last years catastrophe.
I especially liked the Christmas Tree by the Town Hall and the lights on the Parade but as we walked round the streets we saw light shows projected on some of the buildings, very nice if not a bit too subtle at times but it was fun looking out for them though I was sniffing in corners most of the time, found some interesting things doing that but perhaps that's for another time. The lights made me very proud to be a dog about town.
My master wanted to write about something not so nice but we'll leave that till the next time.
Have noticed a Christmas Tree in a private house already, bit early? well what would I know I'm only a dog!